Alright, so my first real post is going to probably upset a few people. But since I’m an Insignificant Microbe I probably won’t have that many people even read this.
Now, for qualifying remarks. The thoughts found in this post are not intended for some people. Namely widows or women who have experienced divorce due to circumstances beyond their control (adultery, abuse).
Having said that, I now want to point out that I am a single mother. Not due to any of the above named factors but due to bad choices. Due to sin. The thoughts found below are as much about me as anyone else.
I am quite sick of the heroic status given to single mothers…by themselves or by others. Of course being a single mother is a tough job. I will also agree that choosing to be a single mother, as opposed to having an abortion, is laudalbe. But…are single mothers heroes? I say no.
I often hear other single mothers bragging about all they have accomplished. They wear their (chosen) circumstances around like a badge of honor. “Look what I’ve done”, “I work two jobs to feed my children”, “I depended on help (from family or government) to finish school”, “Please pat me on the back because I’ve sacrificed so much for my children”…
Being a single mother, I often get commended for circumstances I unwisely put myself into. People will say things like, “You’re such a great mom, for getting an education and making a better life for your children…” or “You’ve been so strong because you’ve worked your way through school….”
Yes, I did finish my degree (I am a teacher ). Yes, I did work my way through college. I do not really see how that makes me a great mother. I depended on the charity of others (namely my parents and one really amazing friend who babysat for free while I was in college) to make it through. I was away from my children while at school and then again while I was at work during their infancy and toddler years. Years they really needed me. And all due to my sin.
I think single moms should try to improve their lives as much as possible. I just don’t think it qualifies them as a hero. I still think I made the right choice in going to college and getting a better paying job. It is definately helping now. I just think it would have been much better had I had the sense enough to do things in order. Go to school. Get married. Have children. I could have been a better mom.
And I’m tired of single mothers being given hero status. I think the real heroes are women (and men) who have been pure, waited until they were married, and then had children.
If you are one of those women (or men) Hooray for you! You are my hero!