Posted by: Bethany
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
And I must agree. I love play. We play….lots! We are big believers in swimming, tree climbing, basketball, soccer, football, racing, trampoline jumping, trips to parks, carnivals, and bookstores (yeah, that IS play!)But I’m going to say that all play and no work makes Jack uninteresting as well. And fat, lazy, selfish, and a whole host of other things we’d rather Jack not be….. 
I read this post, on the value of work, one day last week and it really struck me. I think the importance of hard work is something our culture is not passing on very well. Laura’s post is well written on the value of teaching your children to work.
Nick happened in at some point in the conversation wherein he was asked if he didn’t wish he had more free time and fewer responsibilities. He replied with one of our family mottos, “You don’t work, you don’t eat.”
This is something I’ve only recently started (last several months or so). And I want to encourage all parents out there to assign your child some chores…no matter their age. (Okay…if they aren’t weaned yet, maybe not!)
I was of the variety that thought my five year old just got in the way as I was doing chores. (And honestly, I’m far, far from being a neat freak….so anything getting in my way of working was a huge distraction!) I would have my children “clean their rooms” but really had never taught them how to do it! Uh, duh! Kids don’t learn how to do new things instinctively….well, except for things you’d rather them not learn!
I finally decided that doing all the chores for a family of four was NOT fun! And, I knew my kids were missing that work ethic that builds their character. My husband suggested a chore chart, not unlike the one his mother used for him and his younger siblings as a child.
I sat down with my children and explained his/her duties to them. They were rather excited. I even had them give a few examples of chores they would like to do. I then added some that I thought they would be able to manage nicely.
This is what we started with. I haven’t really updated it….we’ve made a few changes. I felt like Shiloh, my eight year old, could handle a little more responsibility. And then my step-children, ages 6 and 2, came for the summer, and we’ve worked in chores for them as well. But basically this is the break-down.
Shiloh, age eight- washes dishes four days/nights a week, sweeps the floor four days/nights a week, waters the plants daily, loads the washing machine, seperates laundry into rooms (boys room, girls room, mom and dad’s room, towels, etc.), cleans and maitains her room and laundry, and helps (a lot) with the two year old!
Landon, age five, and Daunte, age six - clean and maintain their bedroom, clear off the table after meals (dishes, food, and then wipe it down), pick up clutter in the living room and hallways, take out garbage, and fold and put away towels, washclothes and dishtowels.
Gabbie, age two - errand girl! goes through laundry picking out and throwing away dryer sheets, hauls (light) baskets of laundry to the appropriate bedrooms, brings single items to a particular place (”Go put this book on the bookshelf.”)
And believe it or not, there has been little to no complaining about the chores. The boys, in fact, have made a contest out of folding the towels and race to see who can fold the fastest and the neatest! They do a rather excellent job!
But I will explain how I have countered the complaining we have had. One day my daughter was setting the dinner table (I don’t think I listed that on her list!). She muttered ,”I hate this chore. I don’t want to do it!” After reprimanding the attitude, I explained that if noone did chores they didn’t like there would be a lot of things never done around our house. I explained a few of the chores I and my husband do not enjoy, but do anyway. And I explained why we still do them. That we are part of a family and had to contribute to the household. And then I explained that the things I don’t enjoy doing are better when I think of the fact that I am doing them to help the people I love!
And about a week later, after folding his towels, my son asked if he could have a dollar for folding the towels. I said, “Sure, but I want a dollar for cooking dinner, a dollar for cleaning the bathroom, a dollar for mopping the floors, a dollar for cleaning the porches….” He got the idea. I then had a similar conversation explaining that in a family we don’t get paid for the work we do. We do it because we are a family and we want to help each other out!
Believe it or not, those conversations seemed to work! I have had no problems since. (Although my step-son tried to give me money for the “chores” I do. Wasn’t that sweet. I didn’t take it though….even though I would love a sno-cone! Ah, pregnancy cravings!!)
Anyway, while skulking about a bit last week I found a blog post written by Amy of Humble Musings. Although the post wasn’t on chores or work it did have some information about the Amish culture that I found interesting.
The Amish have a saying about this division of labor: before the age of seven, children are a cost to the household; between ages 7 and 14, children pull their own weight; and after the age of 14, children contribute positively to the household economy.
I thought this awesome! I am a school teacher of seven year olds. I’ve run across very few (if any) children that pull their own weight at home! I don’t think kids are expected in our culture to ever pull their own weight.
I think I’m going to take this information and frame it in my kitchen. Children used to be taught the value of work. Sometimes it might be easier to “just do it for them” but what are our kids missing in character development when they do not get an opportunity to stand back and admire a job well done!
Our jobs as parents shoud include this training, as well as positive feedback, and praises for jobs well done. In Laura’s post on the value of work she tells about a time her son did a difficult job for her….
Besides learning necessary life skills through doing chores, there is also a sense of accomplishment that comes from doing a job and doing it well. I recently decided I wanted a new flower bed around the mailbox. Not wishing to deny my beloved son the opportunity for personal growth and fulfillment, I drew out what I was thinking, laid out the required tools, scrounged up some bricks, and told him to go at it. It was back-breaking work to hoe, dig, remove rocks, carry bucket after bucket of clay and weeds to the woods, and place the bricks just so. I did my part by providing the ice water, snacks, and ample smiles and encouragement. There were moments when he was not happy about this assignment; there were moments when I doubted myself for having him do it. But when it was finished and he could admire his good work, he was proud of himself and I was proud of him.
She mentions the encouragement she gave while he did this difficult task and her post mentions a few other rewards (not allowance!!) that came from his job well done. There is a sense of pride that you can only have in truly working hard.
I have every intention of adding to the chores of my children as they become older. I want them to grow up and appreciate hard work. I want them to have a good work ethic….but for now, we are starting small. Besides….I only have one child who should be pulling her own weight around the house for now!!
Besides, my husband and I are enjoying the slave labor! I mean, who wants to do all the work by themselves!
And that Works for Me! 
June 28th, 2006 at 10:08 am
Fantastic post. I’ve been struggling with chores in my household, and this really has some great ideas. Thanks so much!
June 28th, 2006 at 10:17 am
Hey–I’m famous!
When Nick has his “spells” of feeling burdened by his responsibilities, I always counter with “ya know, in some cultures you would be expected to provide all the meat for the table, plow the fields, and earning a living.” That seems to work too=)
June 28th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
I loved that quote, too, and am firm believer in my dd Pulling Her Weight. That’s my post on it there.
June 28th, 2006 at 6:32 pm
I just had a whole discussion about 20 minutes ago with a friend about this very topic. We were talking about how we are trying to teach this to our children, and how our parents grew up with so much more responsibility than either we did or our children do now. Great WFMW post!
(And I love that Amish quote. I bought an Amish book on child rearing and found their techniques very interesting, if not completely adaptable to the way most of us live.)
June 28th, 2006 at 8:45 pm
You are one smart mama!! I think your way of looking at it is genius - that we pull together as a family, and we’re doing it for each other. I need to think about it that way in my OWN household. Thanks for the encouragement.
And isn’t it funny how little ones will do those directed tasks! I never have to take anything to the garbage when I’m around the GBK. She is so happy to do it for me!
June 28th, 2006 at 9:37 pm
that is so great! you have done a great job. i need to get my son more invloved and get organized with a chart or something like that.
August 25th, 2006 at 9:33 pm
[...] Stacey (with a post I read months ago and was going to link to since it is so helpful, but she popped in and offered it herself ~warm smile~): Do/Done Photo Inspiration. Kim has a very interesting concept at Working the System. Melissa offers up some inspiration with Our Chore Charts. And Bethany posts All Work and No Play complete with picture of chart and kids on task! [...]
December 5th, 2006 at 5:17 pm
[...] And I’m not big on paying kids to help around the house. I’ve mentioned this on my blog before. I think kids should help around the house because they are part of a family. Not to earn money…and then feel like they shouldn’t have to help if they don’t want any money. [...]
August 19th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
OK, I felt like this was me writing this post. GF! You and I have so much in common. This is the first blog I have read that I can totally agree with and relate too. I have a 2 yr old and a 5 yr old that I assign task to, in order to teach them to not be “lazy”. On to read more of your blog.